Why You Want A Mentor, Not A Manager
This blog is for experiential learners who are ready to diagnose the career they will have beyond the next 5 years.
A quick DK quiz: How do we learn the most important skills in life?
- Reading about them
- Seeing them performed or
- By using them?
Next Question:
If the answer wasn’t obvious during my quick DK quiz, consider asking how do you progress your career and obtain the most valuable skills FASTER?
The Answer: By using them, but with a hand-picked Mentor alongside you.
Almost everyone in business has at one time learned skills by using them with a hand-picked mentor alongside them, for example you probably now report to a Manager.
Ponder this though — what’s the difference between a Manager and a Mentor? More on that at the end of this blog.
There are very few qualities and ingredients that matter to building the career you want.
Let’s rule some things out. It is never the name on the door of your employer.
Nor is it about:
- the hours you put in (working smarter, not harder is key)
- the salary you are on (though, you should expect it to grow)
- the University you went (no one asks me where I went, UNSW, which was great) or
- your parents, the clubs you are in, the way you dress or what books you read
Surprised? Let’s keep going.
Ask yourself, are you in a High-Performance Team?
And also Why does this matter?
Firstly, for a business owner who has staff involved in managing customers, representing its brand, relationships with suppliers, financiers or any aspect of the business it should be obvious.
The people, processes and technology should all be in sync to facilitate the best possible outcomes for the business. You personally want to be in a high performance team, because they are more cohesive, collaborative, open and generally happy which sounds like utopia (these days). In addition, being part of a high performance team usually results in greater learning, pride, progress in your career, higher opportunities for advancement and ultimately working smarter, not harder.
Great leaders foster alignment to the businesses values and behaviours by leading by example. Contributing to the culture in a positive way. Culture is not outsourced or the job of HR. Being in a small or large team where the culture is strong is rewarding for everyone.
The most capable, successful and valuable employees I have ever worked with have gone on to do and build great things.
In hiring hundreds of people, and developing their potential, I have developed and refined the 5 secrets I have learned. So if you want to be a great Mentor or you want to identify a great Mentor, pay attention to these 5 things.
1. Leadership
Lead your team by making hard decisions that are the best for the whole team. Everyone is important and love and respect is vital to building trust. A great leader has a vision for what their customers want, even before the customers realise that. Great Mentors bring the team with them, selflessly and draw the best out of the people around them without dictating anything.
Are you getting time with your leader and do they notice and invest in you?
2. Actions Speak Louder than words
Nothing bugs me more than reading a great slogan on a business’s website that is meant to impress clients but is anything but true in how the business behaves. Advertising you are an award-winning employer/client nominated whatever, or fast-growing company or anything to label yourself, well that’s just fluff.
If you want to be a Great Mentor ask yourself: do you consistently and authentically invest in your team? I assure you they will know it and appreciate it.
No message is as powerful as actions taken. When something is awkward or a difficult conversation has to be had, honest feedback and constructive criticism with concrete examples is vital — your team will appreciate you taking the action to do this with them.
Above all, if you expect people to show up and do their best, this is a two-way street. Notice what people do, appreciate and catch them out doing good things. For extra points you need to be consistent. We aren’t robots, we have bad days, we get busy. But the challenge here is to show up, support your team and you will get away with missing the odd gesture.If you notice and appreciate your people the whole ecosystem gets better.
3. Keep the Score, but The Score isn’t THE THING
It is easy to say, you start a business to make a profit. Some people luckily understand that your employees are your most valuable asset. Personally, I see my team as more than assets I own, instead as a unified team that I am privileged to be a part of. Each team member has their own”superpowers, they play best in certain positions, need different types of help and think radically differently about all sorts of things. A one size fits all approach cannot work with helping them become their best.
If you are being monitored for measurement alone, is it a one-sided relationship?
Of course, businesses need to hit targets like revenue, collections and customer deliverables. But how can it become more than targets alone?
We can achieve this by building potential in people. They become better, enjoy their work, and importantly they appreciate one thing in particular… They get to make PROGRESS. That’s the measure I care about for them and it has proven to help me to be a great Mentor.
To be their best, I need to ask the right questions, remove the obstacles from their path and check in on their personal life too.
This means I have to get to know them. It takes time and effort. I have to confess I wasn’t always like this and sometimes it can feel uncomfortable. Although taking this path has been 3 times as hard as I thought it would be, but 5 times more rewarding.
4. Learning
Everyone needs a playbook to learn. Never stop learning. Ever. In turn, if you help people develop the skills and lessons they most desire, they progress. On the job training may make people more productive, but does it help them progress in what they want their career to be? Sometimes. But what else do they need? It isn’t always on the job training. If you can help ask the right questions, develop their unique playbook and access the tools they need you are Mentoring, not Managing them.
I wonder whether some managers or peers fear that their people might become better than themselves?
Or they will surpass the role and leave? Who knows. People are motivated by primary and their subsidiary drivers:
Primary Drivers
- fear and
- greed
Subsidiary drivers
- need to belong
- need to stand out
- to be noticed
- to be loved or
- not be seen as the same.
I promised you a Secret from my Playbook…Are you ready? Share your love of really listening to people and learning new things. Explain why it’s the most important thing, how it helps them and others around them. Teach them to share too. This helps create lifelong learners and high performance becomes the norm.
Regardless of the complexities of an organisation and its people, when an organisation is purely focused on the score there is something less about it. We learn and progress by listening, watching, reading but it sticks better for most when they are doing it and better again if someone is nurturing them as a Mentor through this. This can be personally rewarding and is a life skill to be able to help clients, your team or anyone get better. Who knows, it might work well in football coaching too.
5. Humour and Gratitude
Finally, life is meant to be enjoyed. The word ‘work’ is often seen as a negative. But doing anything difficult is a reward in itself. Some of my happiest moments have come from reflecting on overcoming things I didn’t think I could. Certainly, some people didn’t believe I stood a chance and they served to encourage me even more. It doesn’t have to be like this though.
Be grateful for everything. In dealing with setbacks, find the positives. Showing up for anything with gratitude and humour sets you apart. I recently read a statement that said the secret to charisma is ‘pretend you see a sign above someone’s head which reads, make me feel good about myself’. That really resonated with me. However, I want to finish with something a bit closer to home. Don’t take yourself too seriously, laugh at yourself. Be vulnerable, which is anything but a weakness. It is a strength which can help so many others.
Believe in me and I will help you believe in yourself. Follow me and I will show you what you want. Work with me and I will share all I have to give. This is my playbook and how I go about developing the potential in others that is possible.
Finally, I wish to be clear, it is my people and I who do this.
Want to join my team, we are looking for intermediates, seniors and anyone wanting to progress. Send me an email if you would like to chat? email recruitment@hallchadwick.com.au
Never miss a Sanity Check Podcast.
Subscribe on Apple, Spotify and get free Questions on our website
